Creative and reflective writing

THE APPLE TREE

It falls

It grows

goes round and round

it throws

a cycle

abandoned by all

no tree, no fall

so be it seems

to outward go

beyond the trees

nobody knows

here I rush

I call I see

the splendour of the apple tree

 

J Raworth 2000

I SEARCH MY SOUL

I search my soul too find my heart

Deep in jungle too play the song

I fell

Come out your hole , too be a chance.

You chase .

I keep too part

I embrace, catch me, I fall.

Here my soul I foul upon

Come with me too ponder your heart

Your star light I glow

Too be me I see I scare I fear I care.

My doubt of size to be me.

Here I told I see no more to be.

I sense a fear I calm

Close this thing

Beauty warn me too capture

I go too sleep and me

Capture, enclose, encompass.

Help me you told a fear

I fear summerly enlights the music

play too caress.

 

J Raworth 2000

 

VALLEY OF LIFE

Lines rush down the hills

meeting at the hay bails

Roads leading to anywhere

your imagination wants to go.

 

Which way to go?

 

The path we see safely around the bottom,

or up the hill into the confusion of trees

or zig zag in and out a line of obstacles that leads to the main road

 

 security

adventure

or ambition?

 

J Raworth 1999

TAKE THIS HEART

Take this heart

Constant cycle

I feel so pain

and told I saw

to hold and thaw

Be hear withhold

I search I hold

no time no pace

of sewing good grace

beseech this man

and take one hand

and test and bold

alike the soul

Take this heart

oh gentle soul

forever green

I sold for me.

 

J Raworth 2000

SHARING

My space, my house, my territory, my zone.

You invade with force, all with honour and grace

but you attempt to calim it as your own.

I have the strength of strategy to exert more power

    to win the battle.

But the battle is tiresome and so I retreat.

I find a zone that no-one will invade and claim…..

or will they?

 

J Raworth   2006

CONTENTMENT

Why do we search?

What for?

Are we all doing it?

Or is it just me?

Are those who seem content really so?

Can I maybe act the part of contentment?

If we all kept looking and searching would nothing ever get achieved?

Would we all just keep moving on?

So we need contented people to maintain stability?

 

J Raworth  2002

WOODS

Woods are so magical

There’s something so mysterious

A fairytale

The start of magical childhood fantasies

Infinity of wildlife, colours, patterns

A maze of paths.

Noises, children playing invisibly

Twigs cracking in the wind

Leaves whispering

Which way to go

Which journey to take

 

J Raworth 1997

AFRICA HOME

I’ve been back home for much too long

while still there where I belong

that place that took my heart away

that I call home now

The purple sunsets on the plain

and inbetween there comes the rains

the clouds stretched out it cannot reach

to eternity

See the bright birds fly

bright blue in the sky

In a place where my heart has been found

The faces clack but filled with light

The eyes and teeth they shine so white

With intrigue bursting from the frown

of the young boy

They dance so hard, they leave the ground

with every muscle they have found

to greet us as we drive on by

down the dusty road

Drive into the night

stars are shining bright

in the sky where my heart has been found

The pale green grass, a midtone shrub

a dark green bonsai, winds swept top

a small bright orange bird sits elegantly

Red petals glow like fire in dark

soft focus headed plants

grow in the swamp below the mountains

See the space stretch on

to the mountain far beyond

In the plains where my heart has been

The rushing of the river

the cracking of the fire

the energetic, mellow sounds that make the orchestra

Voice so versatile

low sounds echo under high

wrapped in red he plays the heart & soul

of Africa my hearts here.

J Raworth 1997

THE BENCH

It sees life, we see a small fragment.

Silently waiting for the next train,

still, brown, content with the gentle

rumbles and breezes in the distance

not scared by the ghostly noises.

What’s coming?, what’s ahead?

It doesn’t matter to it, it’s warm polished gleam.

As I rush down in a panic it’s there waiting

for me to stop still, to rest for a second,

the calm below the bustle above.

The silver teeth brought me here to you.

I gather my thoughts, assess the station, empty.

Assess the peace, assess the map..

shit I’m on the wrong platform. I jump up

and run back up the silver teeth.

It stays there, still and calm, solid and sure of itself

waiting fir it’s next stay.

 

Back out again, I arrive with the anticipation

of a London New Years eve.

Excitement, fear, happy, with my friends.

It shares the company of fellow celebrators.

What do they wish for in the New Year.

Better than this year or celebrating a fine achievement.

Giggly and blurry I share a second with it.

Central to the festivities even though

they don’t acknowledge it.

Resting their drunken legs ready for the manic procession

at the other end.

They share a song or two with you

Will you get any peace tonight?

 

Sorry I didn’t come back last night to see you.

In fear of my life I walked home.

Today, blurry from exhaustion,

you are still alone but for one solemn soul.

I daren’t take rest, I fear I may never rise again.

The trains now empty but for the tired, content few

mad enough brave the streets again,

in the promise of fulfilling an ambition of festivities.

Good morrow you regal seat,

who has wethered the tides.

You remain still and strong hiding many a story,

with a gentle smirk to yourself.

 

J Raworth   2006

CLOUDS

The space, the softness

Every moment different

Grandiose sun beams through tiny gaps of dark, heavy, monstrous clouds.

Turmoil between black and white, fighting for the space.

They merge and still, so flat grey and heavy.

But I know behind every cloud lies infinite vastness of the universe.

 

In clearness the flat, serene, cobalt blue serenely no details no texture

A subtle graduation from the suns  brightness.

This moment is clear.

 

Winds may come again, causing new turmoil.

But the clouds keep moving and changing

Clearing a space for the suns rays.

And I  know, even when the murky grey puts mist over the vision,

Behind it, in the next moment, the space behind the wall will find it’s view again.

 

J Raworth  2014

THE UNDERGROUND

The only way to travel where the

transition of the journey does not exist.

I leave an old victorian station,

with drunks outside and hustling shoppers eager for a bargain.

 

I arise suddenly into a land of punks

of bright, surreal, gothic clothes.

Maybe I should go back down-find another safer world.

after braving the creatively stimulating streets and markets.

 

I pop into the Victorian times again but this time the people more regal,

riding the carousel and supping mulled wine,

whilst the juggler braves the cold for his audience.

 

I return to my station for rest before braving

a new exciting world, of drunken celebration.

A war zone of fireworks, kisses from strangers, all sharing the New Year.

Feeling safer in the crowds above than below.

I transition on foot-suddenly I locate my journey,

trace the tunnels I travelled  in darkness.

 

The morrow finds grandeur, traditions, regality

in my last  sudden adventure into a new world.

 

J Raworth  2006

RIPPLES IN THE FRAME

This lake holds my life

My bereavements, my losses and separations.

My angst when I go to my dark place.

My depression and exhaustion when I’m ill

It takes my anxieties and calms them still.

 

The birds innocently get on with their lives,

no stress, calmly looking for food,

Gliding and floating on the gentle ripples.

The water ripples and splashes gently,

rippling all my pains into something softer, gentler, more manageable.

The circle contains my emotions as it gently massages

and softens my angst.

It gently takes in the breeze

glides into the ripples and tends to them

gently, smoothly, warmly.

 

All the  movement, the chaos under the ripples

is held and contained by the solid, circular frame.

It sits with my exhaustion, tending to it.

The water moves sideways while the ground stands still.

 

I’ve cried into this lake, it absorbs my tears.

It calms my anxieties.

It rids me off all the stuff that is muddling the view,

leave’s me the stuff that’s important.

I give it my energy as I circle the lake.

Keep moving.

I sit still, take in the peace, calming me down.

Do I really see it, or does it just exist?

I see it with different eye’s everytime I come.

 

J Raworth  2010

I SEEK A MAN

I seek a man who’s kind and warm,

who’ll hold and hug me in a storm.

A man who talks about the world

but see’s me as his special girl.

He’ll laugh and joke to cheer me up

But will also know when to give it up.

He’ll share his woes but not depend

on me to always fix and mend.

He must have strength to go alone

But always want to come back home.

I know he’s there beyond the trees

and one day soon he will find me.

 

J Raworth  2002

STUDY

Research, cognition, complexity

I reach out and call

No-one answers

Suffer in silence

Anticipation of the fall

Will I?

My guts rot, oh it’s churning

& turning in my head.

Meaningful, reluctant I’m not

Suicidal? No

Excited? Yes, oh so, I have my wedding day

Immerse myself so abstractly

The world merges, blurs and bobbles.

Intoxicating, adrenalin, addiction & withdrawal

What next? What for?

The likes of me, to honour my parents, my family

Have I? Do they respect, do they understand?

Making something of myself, what’s it all for?

Am I missing something, am I finding something?

Is that gaping hole filled? What with?

No answers but I think I’m content

The world is exciting, I investigate, research.

Think, ponder, never truly finding the answers

If I find the answer then what next?

I like this life I think

 

J Raworth  2014

WHERE ARE YOU BABY?

Where is the man?

Where is the father?

To hold my tears, to share my fears

To take this ride on the rollercoaster with me.

 

I catch a glimpse

Of what could be

A few days pass

And I fear to see

My babies eyes and heart in me.

 

But yet again it evades

That crimson flow

that throws the pain in my face

waking me at night

to tell me I am not ‘good enough’.

 

“You do not deserve this,

You should be a partner

You should not have left it so late”

 

And my baby listens......

 

....No wonder she won’t come

 

J Raworth  2014

THE PAIN OF LIFE IS BROKEN

I sleep, I find

some peace of mind

Until the demons rare their anxious head!

 

But peace I find

When I breathe my mind

And tell them it’s ok.

 

But come again

those demons try

with snakes and cries

and hills so wide

my shoulders carry fear and fright

and pull my insides hard and tight

 

Another breathe, another moment

I close my eyes

the peace is there.

 

But soon the rocks

of doom they glare

 

My body hears.

It listens hard

the truths of old

turns warmth to cold

 

And breathe I do.

Compassion too

And soon the body weakens

A blissful night

A cloud so white

Oh how I cannot waken

 

To stay here now

To never move

So calm

So smooth

If I wake outside this dream

The pain of life is broken.

 

 

Is this me changing things, waking and breaking the pain of life?

Or

The pain of life.....is broken...life is broken.

 

J Raworth 2015

TIME

Time can be so varied

One day it flies

Another you count the moments wishing it to end.

Even in some situations.

Time can feel so different

by how you feel at that time.

 

Wherever I am time can just feel painful

every moment I wish away until

the ease settles

only found in sleep that is so short

 

But when I feel good

It flies, time is fun, it swiftly

drifts away into an oblivious past.

Wishing for more of it.

 

It is not what I am doing but how I am in that time

how I relate to time.

Time never changes

but my perception varies

every moment

differently.

 

J Raworth 2015

  • brown twitter  logo
  • brown instagram logo
  • brown facebook logo
      07771474830
julie.raworth@hotmail.co.uk

For further information regarding counselling please visit

   www.spectrumcounsellingpsychology.com